


Worth it All

by Nishinoya4Yuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Character Death, M/M, Mutual Pining, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Road Trips, Shock, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 06:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11617665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nishinoya4Yuu/pseuds/Nishinoya4Yuu
Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi head back to Miyagi for the New Year. It doesn't go as planned. In fact, it ends horribly.





	Worth it All

_It defied all conventional wisdom. A driver automatically steers away from the collision in an act of self preservation. It's just an instant, but it makes the front passenger seat the most dangerous one in the car. It's not something anybody ever really thinks about when settling in for a long drive, but the facts are still there. An ever present looming threat that in the event of a crash, more often than not, dooms the person sitting in the front passenger seat._

~~

“Hurry up, Oikawa,” a gruff voice yelled from the living room. 

Oikawa Tooru yelled back, “Just a minute!” He stood next to his bed and surveyed the pile of clothes sitting next to his suitcase. They would only be gone for about a week, but he also didn't want to be stuck in his hometown without any decent clothes to wear. 

He carefully folded a pale lavender button up and placed it in the suitcase. It was a color he learned looked great on him in high school. He sighed and then picked up a teal sweater and folded that neatly as well. It was another color that he discovered suited him because of Aoba Johsai. 

He sighed and let out a small laugh, “I'm just never going to get away from that place, am I?” Not that it really bothered him, of course. The colors really did look great on him and he probably wouldn't have figured that out if his high school's uniforms hadn't been such odd color combinations. 

It was painfully obvious by this point that he'd carry a little part of Seijou with him for the rest of his life. Even now that he was here, in Tokyo, so far from Miyagi, he just couldn't really forget where he came from. Of course, the fact that his childhood best friend had followed him to Tokyo probably did help to keep him aware of his roots. It's hard to leave behind where you came from when it seemed to follow you into your new life. 

He looked at the rest of his pile of clothes and then just decided on everything. He set about neatly and carefully folding and packing his small suitcase. It wasn't a long trip or anything, just a quick trip back up to Miyagi to see their families and old friends who still lived there. But he did have an image to uphold. 

“Seriously, I'd like to make it back before the New Year, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi Hajime said as he leaned, arms crossed, against the doorway to Oikawa's bedroom.

Oikawa quickly zipped the suitcase closed and then hauled it off his bed. He stood to his full height and looked at the boy standing in his doorway. 

“Alright, alright, Iwa-chan,” he said in a sing-song. 

Iwaizumi had already packed his things into the old blue Toyota Altezza that they both shared. There wasn't much need to own a car in Tokyo, but through their first 2 years of college they'd both found more than enough times when they needed one. Last year they finally just split the cost of the cheap used car. It had seen enough kilometers that it could probably tell quite a few stories. 

Oikawa followed Iwaizumi to the front door of their shared apartment, dragging his suitcase by the handle. He grabbed his double breasted blue wool coat from the rack near the door and slipped it on. He quickly wound his brown scarf around his neck and then knelt down and pulled on his shoes. 

Iwaizumi waited at the door with his hand on the light switch. Oikawa grabbed his suitcase again and stepped outside; Iwaizumi followed and then quickly locked the door behind him. 

Down by the car Oikawa quickly tossed his suitcase in the back seat and then headed for the drivers side. Iwaizumi was already opening the door to step in when Oikawa stopped him. 

“Iwa-chan, I'll drive first,” he said, and his voice didn't leave any room for argument. 

Iwaizumi didn't argue. He was tired and he had been awake since the very early morning when he had picked up an extra shift at work. 

Iwaizumi went around to the passenger side and climbed in. They both settled in for a long drive. 

~~

Oikawa parked the car in the Service Area parking lot near the restaurant and quietly nudged Iwaizumi. 

“Iwa-chan, wake up,” he whispered. Iwaizumi didn't move. “Iwa-chan, let's get some food.” 

Due to their late start it was already 22.00 and they weren't even halfway there. But Oikawa was tired, hungry and needed to stretch his legs so here they were. 

Iwaizumi shifted in the passenger seat and yawned. He opened his eyes and focused on the clock. 

“Why are we stopping?” he asked though another yawn. 

“Food,” Oikawa simply said as he unbuckled his seat-belt and opened the door. He gracefully swung his long legs outside and stood up. He stretched and it felt great. He was too tall to comfortably sit in that small car for so long. 

Iwaizumi climbed out as well and joined him while he finished stretching. They walked together up the low steps to the Nasukogen Service Area. The restaurants all closed hours ago so the only option was vending machine food.

They bought their snacks and then went to sit on a nearby bench. Iwaizumi slumped down onto the bench and Oikawa carefully settled in as well. Oikawa leaned back and the cold metal chilled him right through his jacket. He whined, “Iwa-chan! It's cold!”

Iwaizumi mumbled around bites of his sad vending machine taiyaki, “it's winter, dumbass.” 

Oikawa groaned but smiled anyway, “thanks, mom!” 

He leaned forward and held his cup of hot chocolate in both hands near his face. The heat radiating off it warmed his skin. He almost didn't want to drink it. But chocolate...so he gently blew over it to cool it down a bit. His breath clouded and mixed with the steam from the hot chocolate and dissipated in the cold. 

Oikawa slid ever so slightly closer to Iwaizumi on the bench. He lifted his cup to his lips and sipped his drink. He inched closer to Iwaizumi again. Iwaizumi was always radiating heat and even with space between them it was getting warmer. 

Iwaizumi gave a stern look and mumbled,“what the hell do you think you're doing, Shitikawa?” 

Oikawa just sipped his hot chocolate and hummed. A soft smile graced his lips as they hovered over the edge of his paper cup. In one swift scoot he closed the distance between himself and Iwaizumi. He finally took his empty cup away from his face and carefully sat it on the bench next to him. He then gently snuggled up next to Iwaizumi. 

“Iwa-chan is always so warm!” Oikawa proclaimed to the night. 

Iwaizumi reached up and unceremoniously pushed his friend away from him and grunted, “Dumbass.” 

Oikawa ignored Iwaizumi's protest and just leaned right back over, resting his head on Iwaizumi's shoulder. Iwaizumi just sighed in resignation of his fate. They sat alone like that for what seemed like an eternity. 

The air was cold but Iwaizumi was warm and didn't seem to mind Oikawa stealing his heat. The sky was getting clearer the farther away from Tokyo they drove. Stars twinkled faintly in the sky and they both just sat and took it all in. 

The moment felt fragile, but also comfortable. So very much like home. They were still 2 or so hours from either place they have ever called “home” but that fact didn't really seem to dawn on either of them. Everything about the moment felt nostalgic and comfortable. It was cold outside but they both felt warm. 

Oikawa closed his eyes and quickly drifted off. Iwaizumi sat there under the stars with his breath making small waves of steam in the air. He glanced down at Oikawa but didn't move enough to wake him. Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh, the kind that shakes you to the very core. He gently lifted up his arm that Oikawa wasn't laying on and ran his fingers through Oikawa's hair. 

It was gentle and loving. Iwaizumi's hands were large and covered in calluses but you wouldn't have known it by the tenderness he used to gently move his fingers though his friends hair. Iwaizumi knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help but let Oikawa stay like that for a while. It was the kind of moment he dreamed of and he couldn't bear to end it yet. 

He wasn't blind. Anybody who saw Oikawa would have to admit that he was beautiful. So beautiful. Some people looked at Oikawa and saw someone beautiful but with a shitty personality. But for all his joking, Iwaizumi knew the truth. All of Oikawa's outward show of selfishness was to cover his own deep insecurities. 

Oikawa was proud and he wanted everything he had to be earned, not given to him. He took everything in his life to be verification of his self worth. It had been so hard watching him in High School as he lost. Repeatedly. Oikawa had taken that to mean that he wasn't worth anything. And Iwaizumi hated that because it was so wrong. And anybody who had been around Oikawa as long as he had would have known that. 

Because Oikawa was worth it all, honestly. All of it. Everything. Oikawa deserved it all. He was beautiful, determined, hard working, supportive, intelligent, and just.... Iwaizumi sighed again. 

The words passed his lips, barley the ghost of a whisper, “perfect...” 

Iwaizumi closed his eyes and leaned his head back so he was facing the heavens and took one last deep breath of the cold air. His eyes opened again and he whispered to Oikawa gently to wake him up. 

Oikawa didn't even realize he had drifted off to sleep until Iwaizumi was whispering to him that they needed to get going again. 

“Oikawa, come on. Get up, Hey....Oikawa.....” Iwaizumi gently shook him and Oikawa's eyes fluttered open. 

Oikawa quickly focused on his surroundings and then remembered where he was and why. 

He cleared his throat, “Yeah. Let's go.” 

They both stood and began the short trek back to where their car sat lonely in the parking lot. Oikawa stopped first by the wall of vending machines. He needed snacks for the rest of the way home. He pouted for a second.

“Iwa-chan!” He spun on his heel and faced Iwaizumi. “You should buy me some chocolate! I did drive us all the way here!” Oikawa winked and smiled and in that instant Iwaizumi hated him, just a little bit. 

That fake smile that he puts on for all his fans. Iwaizumi hated it when Oikawa used it on him. Oikawa seemed to think it was his magical card to get whatever he wanted and Iwaizumi just wanted to knock some sense into him. He wished Oikawa knew that with him, he never needed to use that false grin. One real smile would get him everything that Iwaizumi could ever give him. 

Still, Iwaizumi mumbled, “Shitikawa,” as he dug into his pants pocket for some change and slowly fed the coins into the machine. He pressed a button making Oikawa's selection for him and Oikawa was about to be offended until he saw that Iwaizumi had selected his favorite. Oikawa's lips curved up faintly at the corners as he reached down and picked up his treat. 

He looked Iwaizumi straight in the eyes and whispered, “Thank you.” 

Iwaizumi felt the blush spread up the back of his neck. So he reached out and pushed Oikawa's head down and said “Dumbass.”

Oikawa's head snapped back up and he howled out, “MEAN!” in that mock affronted voice of his. But he quickly settled and fell into step with Iwaizumi who was already walking away back towards the car. 

As they reached the little blue car Oikawa went to open the driver's side. Iwaizumi reached out and placed his hand firmly on Oikawa's arm. 

“I'll drive,” was all Iwaizumi said but it was said with enough finality that Oikawa didn't even fight it. Oikawa changed course and walked over to the passenger side instead. 

They settled in and Oikawa turned the radio on and it gently filled the car. And just like that they began the final leg of their journey. 

~~

The journey was fairly uneventful. The road was mostly clear of traffic because it was close to the New Year and so everybody was happily tucked away at home with their families. Oikawa's mind stuck to that idea for a second but he sighed when he realized that for all intents and purposes he already was with his family. 

“What is it?” Iwaizumi asked in response to Oikawa's sigh. He glanced quickly in Oikawa's direction before fixing his eyes back on the road ahead of him. 

“Nothing!” Oikawa chirped a little too brightly for how late in the night it was. 

They were somewhere near Koriyama. Oikawa wasn't sure where exactly because the night sky had caught his eye. The moon was bright in the sky. Oikawa found his eyes drawn to it and he was unable to look away. It was so pretty it was mystifying. 

Oikawa had always loved everything related to space and he had forgotten how much he missed the stars. It was just too bright in Tokyo to ever see the stars in all their glory but out here they were breathtaking. 

That's when he saw it. A streak of yellowish white across the dark night sky. Oikawa sat up fully in his seat and excitedly chirped, “Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan! A shooting star!!” He pointed out the window, like an excited child. 

Iwaizumi ventured a quick glance and asked, “What did you wish for?” Then his eyes were back on the road like the dutiful driver that he was. 

Oikawa sunk back into his seat and his smile faltered for the briefest of seconds, “Can't tell you. Wouldn't come true then.” 

He fixed his gaze on Iwaizumi. His eyes traced down Iwaizumi's profile, taking in every feature of his face which calmly focused on the road ahead of them. 

Oikawa let out small and questioning, “Iwa-chan....”

Then it all happened so fast. There was a bright flash of headlights and the screeching of tires. The car seemed to spin around and then crashed hard against something. Oikawa didn't understand what had happened but his head was spinning. 

~~

_So it defied all logic when the driver of the little blue sedan turned his car the opposite direction._

~~

Iwaizumi placed himself in the worst possible spot in the crash. The car went crashing into the median on the road at nearly full speed and the whole of the drivers side just crumpled in on itself. 

Oikawa didn't have time to think, all he knew was that he was unharmed while his best friend was severely injured. He turned in his seat and his eyes grew wider than imaginable as he looked at his friend. His hands hovered over Iwaizumi as he wasn't sure what to do.

“Iwa-chan....” he whispered. 

The side of the car was pressed harshly into Iwaizumi's side and the steering wheel was pressed so far into his chest that the airbag had completely ruptured and he was pinned in place. There was blood, everywhere. Lots of it. But he was alive, if barley. 

Oikawa grabbed his phone and quickly dialed 119 and as calmly as he could requested an ambulance to the dark and remote stretch of road they were on. 

“No! I'm sorry, I can't stay on the line I have to...No! Just please? Come quickly,” Oikawa pleaded into his phone. 

He glanced nervously at Iwaizumi. Iwa-chan must have known it was really bad but Oikawa didn't want to talk about it in front of him and make it worse, and no way in hell was he going to leave him. He quickly gave up arguing and hung up the phone. 

Oikawa leaned forward and voice trembling asked, “Iwa-chan? What do you want me to do? I don't know what to do. Iwa-chan...” 

He was desperately fighting back tears. His hands went back to hovering aimlessly over Iwaizumi. Afraid to touch him in fear of making anything worse. 

Iwaizumi was having trouble breathing so it was with much difficulty that he forced out, “Oikawa....I...think I'm going to...” 

Oikawa shook his head and said, “no! Just tell me if there's something I can do! You'll be fine.” 

His voice wasn't trembling anymore and he'd managed to blink away the tears that were forming near the edges of his deep chocolate eyes. He tentatively reached down and put his hand on his best friends. 

They sat in silence in the dark, the radio still playing softly. It was an older song but the words shook Oikawa right to his soul in the moment. 

The woman's voice sang “Zutto issho ni ita futari de aruita ipponmichi, Futatsu ni wakarete betsubetsu no hou aruiteku....” (All along we walked the straight path together, it divides in two and we go our separate ways.)

Iwaizumi moved ever so slightly and obviously with much pain and looked at Oikawa. 

His voice was barley a breath, “Oika...what...time....”

Oikawa quickly answered before he needed to struggle with the rest of the words. “23.57.” He weakly smiled, “Almost the new year, Iwa-chan!” He let out a faultering laugh as the song continued in the background.

Iwaizumi smiled weakly. “Oikawa...I...” 

Oikawa cut him off again. “No! Iwa-chan! Everything is fine. See, I've got you,” he gently moved his hand to interlace his fingers with Iwaizumi's. “See?” 

Iwaizumi started a weak laugh but the pain abruptly stopped him. “Oikawa....listen....”

Oikawa's smile fell from his lips as his full attention focused on his friends face and his words. “Iwa-chan?”

“I should have...” Iwaizumi took a gasp, and then he fixed his slate colored eyes on Oikawa with all the focus he could, “I love you...” 

Oikawa's eyes widened and their brown color grew watery, “Iwa-chan, what are you saying? I don't understand....” 

Oikawa swallowed hard as his thoughts lingered on Iwaizumi's words, 'I love you'. He willed his tears to stop and the glanced at the clock in the dashboard. There was less than 1 minute until the new year. 

He smiled weakly again and said, “1 more minute until the new year Iwa-chan!” he let out a faint laugh, “But there's nobody here for me to kiss except for you....” he swallowed the lump in his throat. 

Oikawa's perception couldn't help but notice that Iwaizumi's breathing was more labored and shallow now and the gleam seemed to be leaving his eyes. 

Iwaizumi's mouth formed around the words again, carefully, as if they were the most important thing in the world, “I...love...you....Tooru....”

Oikawa felt his mouth go dry. He'd longed to hear these words, but not like this. This shouldn't be like this. He scrunched up his nose in an effort to not cry again. 

“Not like this, Hajime....”

Iwaizumi whispered, “Please....”

Oikawa swallowed hard and said as steady as he could muster, “Iwa-chan. You don't have to do this, really...” he swallowed again, “you'll be fine and you don't need to pretend to say things just for my benefit.” 

Oikawa fixed his eyes on Iwaizumi and didn't look away. 

His heart couldn't admit it but his gut knew how important this moment was. He knew without even comprehending it that this was the end. And it hurt so much. The pain in his chest was killing him but he knew that was an awful thing to think and feel when his friend was literally dying in front of his eyes. 

Iwaizumi opened his mouth but the words didn't come right away. “Oika...please...Tooru....” 

Oikawa felt the tears sting his eyes as he couldn't hold them in anymore. He leaned carefully forward and looked deep into the endless grey blue of Iwaizumi's eyes. He silently took in every feature of his face, the stubble on his strong jaw and the ever present crease in his heavy brow. He couldn't help but see that those eyes grew a little bit glassy. 

“Iwa-chan....Hajime....” Oikawa whispered the name he rarely used because he knew it was so important in this moment to say it. 

He needed to make sure Iwaizumi understood. Really and truly and deeply understood. Oikawa faintly smiled the saddest smile Iwaizumi had ever seen on his lips, but it wasn't fake and that meant the world to him right now. 

Oikawa gently squeezed Iwaizumi's hand and then ever so carefully, as if afraid he might break him, pressed his lips to Iwaizumi's. They were chapped and tasted like blood from the cuts on his face. Oikawa lingered and kissed him gently. He could feel the warmth leaving his friends lips as they slowly stopped responding to his own. 

He pulled away just a hair and met Iwaizumi's eyes. They had gone completely still. 

He pulled back all the way and sat back into his seat. He hand never left Iwaizumi's. His eye caught the time on the clock, 00.01. 

He whispered, “Happy New Year, Hajime...” and then he was shaking as the tears fell fast from his eyes. “I love you....” he offered into the night. 

The radio's voice filled the small battered car, “Mikadzuki ni te wo nobashita kimi ni todoke kono omoi...”(I reached out to the crescent moon. Let my love reach you.) 

Oikawa finally let go of Iwaizumi's hand and then balled his hands into fists as the song ended and he sat in the momentary silence. He reached out and stopped the radio that had somehow managed to play even though his friend was gone. The thought was bitter as he sat in silence, tears streaming down his cheeks and staring at the lifeless body next to him. 

He wasn't sure how long it was but finally the sirens sounds and the flashing lights filled the empty darkness around him. He was in a daze as the strong hands helped him from the car and over to the ambulance. He vaguely remembered a blanket being placed over his shoulders. 

He felt as lifeless as Iwaizumi looked. The numbness filled his limbs as he stared blankly into the night. His eyes drifted up to the night sky, beautiful here in this remote location. The stars were bright but the moon outshone them all. It should have been stunning but instead it filled his heart with a deep dread that reached into his very being. 

He hardly registered it as he overheard the rescue workers commenting as they surveyed the nasty wreckage. 

“Weird, people usually drive away from a crash, not into it. Why in the world he would have....” a slight cough cut in and the thought remained unfinished. 

The rescue workers both trained their eyes onto where Oikawa sat perched on the back step of the ambulance, blanket limply hanging from his shoulders. 

Oikawa sat, staring blankly at the moon and quietly humming to himself. 

~~

The shock that went deep into Oikawa's core didn't ever really leave him. But he did know one thing for sure: He wasn't worth the price Iwaizumi had paid. 

He wasn't worth it at all.

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Mikazuki by Ayaka.


End file.
